How I’m dealing with self doubt

“Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create, Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.”

-Will Smith

Have you ever felt anxious about something you do not know, it just came out of the blue, and felt like you were dissociated from your own body as you attempt to rummage through your mind, trying to find out where is this feeling coming from?

Today, I heard someone going through the same thing.

As I paid attention to her, I realized that there may be more people around me who may feel as lost as I am. This state of apprehension, if left unsaid, oftentimes result to sleepless nights, which drains energy, and eventually leads to lack of motivation.

And then I started journaling.

I wanted to keep track of my thoughts and find out how to improve myself. I watched numerous YouTube videos of entrepreneurs who became successful in their field. One of the common things they mentioned is that we tend to create this negativity in our own minds. It hit me because it’s true and I do this to myself most of the time. This reminded me of my mom. She set a perfect example to think of positive self-affirmations in the midst of adversity. At that time, I actually thought it was ridiculous and unrealistic. But when I learned about the Law of Attraction, that’s when I realized she’s right.

Being heavily influenced by the Law of Attraction, this literally helps me to get through tough times at work. Whenever something unexpected happens, I redirect my thinking to, “what am I going to learn from this?”.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that easy all the time. However, I am also aware that I get to choose how to think and feel.

Nevertheless, I continued to struggle with the same nagging thoughts when it comes to making my dreams come true. I know I can do it, but thoughts of self doubt and I’m-not-good-enough get the best of me. Oftentimes I feel like I’m the only person in the world who goes through this self inflicted punishment. That’s when a support person is very important.

I am blessed to have my husband.

Sometimes, all we need is one person who intently listens to our frustrations.

Even though I cannot fully express my intentions to him, he’s there to lend an ear and elevate me on my depressed moments. Having this kind of person helps a lot.

Thanks to him, I regained motivation to help myself. Last week, I went back to my favorite bookstore in the City and took my time to browse through the Personal Growth and Business sections. I took home three books.

I recently started meditating so I grabbed a book about Buddhism. I love how it teaches to embrace suffering in order to be free from suffering.

I still continue to journal and went back to writing through my website. I want to stay consistent and keep the fire burning inside me. I learned that by staying off of autopilot mode, I am able to challenge myself everyday and not stay stagnant.

“Work like hell. I mean you just have to put in 80- to 100 hour weeks every week. This improves the odds of success. If other people are putting in 40-hour workweeks, then even if you’re doing the same thing, you know that you will achieve in four months what it takes them a year to achieve”

-Elon Musk

You must be reading this post for a reason. Most likely you want solutions or you are probably looking for someone who is relatable to you. If you have reached this far, I appreciate you taking the time. I want to help you. Here are my tips to help you feel motivated.

  1. Record your thoughts. Write them down on a notebook that you really like. If you do not have the time, use your phone to record your outbursts, anxieties, sadness, etc. Include an action plan for yourself to manage these moments.
  2. Identify at least one person you look up to. Find out how they got where they want to be. If this person is an actor or an entrepreneur, watch YouTube videos about his or her life story. Write notes. For starters, I recommend Oprah.
  3. Invest in yourself. Learn how to meditate. Give up Netflix or Hulu. Start reading books on Personal Growth. If reading is not your thing, again there are amazing content creators all over YouTube who are passionate about summarizing motivational books. If you are struggling to find your purpose, look for Start With Why by Simon Sinek.
  4. Every morning that you wake up, enumerate all the things in your life that you are grateful about, set definite affirmations (example: I will earn and receive the sum of $500,000 for the year of 2019), and then challenge yourself by starting to work your tail off to make this happen.

I do not consider myself an expert in this matter. But I believe that by helping myself to become better each day, I will also be able to be of service to others. I sustain this belief to be my deeper purpose in life.

Thank you so much. Please send your comments/feedbacks/suggestions to questions@ranlopez.com 🙂

Let’s succeed together!

-Raina

My real thoughts

For almost a year, I did not touch my blog. I renewed my domain few weeks after WordPress sent me relentless reminders that my domain’s about to expire. I debated over the idea of just permanently deleting my account and move on. However, if there is something I’m decently good at that would be writing. I am fully aware that I poorly express my thoughts and emotions verbally to the point that I get misunderstood. So, knowing that this was my only escape, I decided to renew my site and start fresh. Moving forward, I am giving myself a deadline to publish at least one blog a day. It does not matter how long or relevant it is, I know I just need to get started and stay consistent. Because come on, I am paying for this.

While I was browsing through my old drafts, I came across this one that I never posted. This was written in February of this year. I read it and realized that I still feel and think the same way. So I want to share it to everyone:

“I am a firm believer that our worst enemy is our own selves. I know that I am in constant war with myself especially in these trying times. I used to always ask myself who I truly am, what do I want to achieve in life, who do I want to help, and most importantly how do I do it. Now that I have figured that out, I am in a situation where I hesitate to take action. I fear so much. I fear that I may fail, I fear that others may get hurt in the process, I fear that the people that I love and care the most will not understand, but my greatest fear of all is the regret of not trying at all. My intentions are pure and all I want is what’s best for my little family. It may be selfish but yes, they are all I think about, they occupy my thoughts 99% of the time, they are my why-power when willpower is missing when I need it the most. I just feel like right now, everything is in disarray. I am physically and mentally worn out. The house is not tended, my son got sick for two weeks, I do not cook meals anymore, sewing used to me happy and but I have not touched the sewing machine for three months. It is definitely not the kind of life I want. I am just grateful for the gift of a loving better half. I try to be strong just like the old Japanese proverb Kishikaisei which means wake from death and return to life. I want to flip the other side of the coin and turn this (self) adversity to my advantage, I mean, how worse can my current situation get? I want a change of perspective and be able to stand up for myself and do the things I need and want to do without remorse. And it starts now.”