What I wish I knew (as a younger version of myself)

“Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, what do I want to do everyday for the rest of my life…do that.”

 – Gary Vaynerchuk

When I was in high school, my dad hated the idea of pursuing something if it does not lavish money in the household. I had so may interests back then but I did not get enough support to be motivated enough, if anything I was discouraged. Looking back as a young adult, I came to understand him. Time is a precious commodity to be spent on unnecessary things after all. On the flip side, I also believe that time is squandered when your untapped, God-given expertise atrophies.

What my dad did not teach me is that it’s okay to develop a budding interest or passion, stick with it, be freaking good about it, and eventually get paid to do what you really love. I had a lot of time as a teenager to be busy exploring my identity, passion, and purpose in life but I was confined in a preconceived idea. I cannot blame my father entirely because I did not know any better too. If I did, my life would have been different.

I chose to be an obedient child because I was sent to school without having to worry about tuition, school fees, etc. I studied and finished Bachelor’s in Nursing albeit I had an ardent enjoyment in teaching. I do believe that I was led to a good direction. Life’s great. For my age, I have a good paying job and I like what I do. But just like any other person, I had an existential crisis.

That’s when all the if only statements started to cross my mind. If only I was brave enough to be a risk taker. If only I listened to my gut. If only I gave enough attention to learn more about what I really wanted to. If only I knew.

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I am not dwelling in the past, I am merely trying to make a clear recollection that may strike you. Maybe you were also in the same boat.

If you’re reading these, you may also be in a position where you’re trapped in a job you dislike, you want to escape the 9-5 but you have bills to pay and a family to feed. I don’t think it’s late to figure out your purpose in life and to pursue your goals. You don’t have to have an innate talent either. Talent plays a little role to be successful. In a world full of people bias to naturals, be the striver. We may give an excuse that we don’t have enough time but think about this: Successful people like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg did not have more than 24 hours a day to work on their passion. These people were all driven, dogged, and tenacious. There is more time than you can imagine.

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

-Albert Einstein

I would like to share my own experience about being tenacious and the power of deadlines/goals. When I was in high school, I hated math simply because I did not study it with full intention. Moving forward to college, I was lucky enough to have a full-ride scholarship as long as I maintain a grade of C+ or greater per each subject. I knew I cannot take math for granted or else I will blow my scholarship. I paid attention to every single lesson, found out I really enjoyed it, scored very well on tests, and even had a grade of B- at the end of the semester. It’s not commendable but because I did not want to lose my scholarship, I worked hard on it and the best part? I enjoyed it!

And if you’re a teenager, you’re at the prime time of your life to explore your limitless potentials. I see so many teenagers today who are so caught up with trying to be who they are not because of the ubiquitous presence of influencers on social media. Please don’t waste your time doing this when you could be doing something better. No I am not specifically talking about doing your school work. Ask yourself. What do you enjoy doing on your spare time? Is it singing? Dancing? Learning how to code? Playing basketball? Sewing? You don’t have to be innately talented to be motivated. Just get started, hone your skills with the full intention to excel. If you don’t have the equipment, be creative and start right away. Don’t you think that as long you stay consistent, all the equipment you need will come as if it was miraculously bestowed upon you?

“Astonishingly, the average person will spend nearly two hours (approximately 116 minutes) on social media everyday, which translates to a total of 5 years and 4 months spent over a lifetime. Even more, time spent on social is only expected to increase as platforms develop, and is expected to eat further into traditional media – most notably TV. Right now, the average person will spend 7 years and 8 months watching TV in a lifetime. However, as digital media consumption continues to grow at unprecedented rates, this number is expected to shrink in counter to that expansion.”

Read more here: https://www.socialmediatoday.com/marketing/how-much-time-do-people-spend-social-media-infographic

Don’t mind what other people may say because first of all, they don’t live your life. Second, they must have plenty of time to mind your business and that’s the main reason why their life is mediocre. You don’t want that kind of life. Taylor Swift even said it and other rich people you can think of: You must be thick skinned. If not, you will never be ready.

I have not mastered all of these but I am actively working on it by giving myself definite deadlines. By giving value to the readers, I am also constantly reminded to do better.

There are so many things I still want to share but I also believe that the attention span of a person is limited. I will reserve it for another time. If you enjoyed reading this please hit follow/like. For questions/feedbacks/comments send me an email at questions@ranlopez.com 🙂

Thank you and have a fabulous day!

How I’m dealing with self doubt

“Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create, Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.”

-Will Smith

Have you ever felt anxious about something you do not know, it just came out of the blue, and felt like you were dissociated from your own body as you attempt to rummage through your mind, trying to find out where is this feeling coming from?

Today, I heard someone going through the same thing.

As I paid attention to her, I realized that there may be more people around me who may feel as lost as I am. This state of apprehension, if left unsaid, oftentimes result to sleepless nights, which drains energy, and eventually leads to lack of motivation.

And then I started journaling.

I wanted to keep track of my thoughts and find out how to improve myself. I watched numerous YouTube videos of entrepreneurs who became successful in their field. One of the common things they mentioned is that we tend to create this negativity in our own minds. It hit me because it’s true and I do this to myself most of the time. This reminded me of my mom. She set a perfect example to think of positive self-affirmations in the midst of adversity. At that time, I actually thought it was ridiculous and unrealistic. But when I learned about the Law of Attraction, that’s when I realized she’s right.

Being heavily influenced by the Law of Attraction, this literally helps me to get through tough times at work. Whenever something unexpected happens, I redirect my thinking to, “what am I going to learn from this?”.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that easy all the time. However, I am also aware that I get to choose how to think and feel.

Nevertheless, I continued to struggle with the same nagging thoughts when it comes to making my dreams come true. I know I can do it, but thoughts of self doubt and I’m-not-good-enough get the best of me. Oftentimes I feel like I’m the only person in the world who goes through this self inflicted punishment. That’s when a support person is very important.

I am blessed to have my husband.

Sometimes, all we need is one person who intently listens to our frustrations.

Even though I cannot fully express my intentions to him, he’s there to lend an ear and elevate me on my depressed moments. Having this kind of person helps a lot.

Thanks to him, I regained motivation to help myself. Last week, I went back to my favorite bookstore in the City and took my time to browse through the Personal Growth and Business sections. I took home three books.

I recently started meditating so I grabbed a book about Buddhism. I love how it teaches to embrace suffering in order to be free from suffering.

I still continue to journal and went back to writing through my website. I want to stay consistent and keep the fire burning inside me. I learned that by staying off of autopilot mode, I am able to challenge myself everyday and not stay stagnant.

“Work like hell. I mean you just have to put in 80- to 100 hour weeks every week. This improves the odds of success. If other people are putting in 40-hour workweeks, then even if you’re doing the same thing, you know that you will achieve in four months what it takes them a year to achieve”

-Elon Musk

You must be reading this post for a reason. Most likely you want solutions or you are probably looking for someone who is relatable to you. If you have reached this far, I appreciate you taking the time. I want to help you. Here are my tips to help you feel motivated.

  1. Record your thoughts. Write them down on a notebook that you really like. If you do not have the time, use your phone to record your outbursts, anxieties, sadness, etc. Include an action plan for yourself to manage these moments.
  2. Identify at least one person you look up to. Find out how they got where they want to be. If this person is an actor or an entrepreneur, watch YouTube videos about his or her life story. Write notes. For starters, I recommend Oprah.
  3. Invest in yourself. Learn how to meditate. Give up Netflix or Hulu. Start reading books on Personal Growth. If reading is not your thing, again there are amazing content creators all over YouTube who are passionate about summarizing motivational books. If you are struggling to find your purpose, look for Start With Why by Simon Sinek.
  4. Every morning that you wake up, enumerate all the things in your life that you are grateful about, set definite affirmations (example: I will earn and receive the sum of $500,000 for the year of 2019), and then challenge yourself by starting to work your tail off to make this happen.

I do not consider myself an expert in this matter. But I believe that by helping myself to become better each day, I will also be able to be of service to others. I sustain this belief to be my deeper purpose in life.

Thank you so much. Please send your comments/feedbacks/suggestions to questions@ranlopez.com 🙂

Let’s succeed together!

-Raina